NATIONAL ADOPTION WEEK 2023

A The Mummas Village we have had many adoptive families in our classes, people choose to adopt for many different reasons and we feel it is a privilege to be a part of any families journey.

We reached out to our community to share a story of adoption with you this week and when one of our mums came forward to share the story of how she was adopted we thought that was the most wonderful story to tell.

If you are considering adoption, if you have adopted and you wonder what your child will think of it all when they are older, please ready Ellie's story. It is glorious!

Thank you so much for sharing with us Ellie x 

"When I was 24 hours old, my luck changed for the better. The person who gave birth to me decided before I was born that she was not the Mum for me. She already had an 18 month old and was a single parent, she hid the pregnancy from her family, presumably because she didn’t think they would understand. 

I’ve never felt anger or hurt for this decision, instead enormous gratitude that she loved me enough to know I was not meant for her.

At the same time my parents, who already had a 3 year old, were waiting for a phone call to hear that their family would be completed.  The story goes that when they went to pick me up and saw me in the cot, my sister looked around in disappointment and said ‘is she the only one left?’ having thought it would be a toys 'r' us type situation with rows of babies she could choose from!

Growing up as an adopted person does create a few tricky moments. People often asked why me and my sister don’t look alike, and the meaner children in the playground would tell me I wasn’t wanted and was a mistake, after I divulged my secret identity, thinking it was a source of intrigue rather than ridicule.

That night I ran to my dad in tears and told him what they’d said, he responded ‘Ellie, we spent hours filling out forms and waiting nervously by the phone for you and your sister, no one has ever wanted two babies more’. 

People often say me and my dad are similar, I am the case in point of nature vs nurture having picked up my dads mannerisms whilst my red hair acts as a beacon for my biological family.

Being adopted and a mother is quite the pickle. I am so lucky that my move to Godalming meant I was in close proximity to cousins and aunts/uncles from my biological family who I'd discovered whilst at university.

I did go to uni in the city I was born in and naturally thought anyone who I met with red hair had to be a relation, but it was actually Facebook that meant they found me and I found them.

I’m so excited that my two children have my own family and also my ‘magic’ family, as I like to refer to the biological team. They will have questions but for now I see my adoption as a source of additional love and support for them and for me as I tackle the turbulent period of raising a 3 year old and a baby.

For anyone reading this in our Mummas Village community who has adopted and wants to chat about navigating the tricky waters of ‘telling’ a child, I am always happy to chat. I was never ‘told’ my parents read me a storybook that explained so it’s always been a part of me.

I will always thank my lucky stars that my family are my own. There is a beautiful poem which best sums it up that my mum read to me:

Not the flesh of my flesh, nor the bone of my bone but still miraculously my own.

Never forget for a single minute, You didn’t grow under my heart, but in it.